A Death. “I was JUST 92.” Then a strange thing happens; if you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. I just hate to waste money.”. Please do it for me, and then I will again turn into a beautiful, sexy, princess and I will really make you feel young again. “Who said that?” he asked rather loudly. You change your underwear after every sneeze. I would appreciate it if you would leave because he will be home from work any minute.” The mother-in-law was tired of all this romantic talk and left. He went to the door and rang the bell. Specifically, the new swimsuit collection. This is all speculation and shalln't be counted for. Why, while I was sitting there, the guy behind started honking like crazy, and then he leaned out of his window and screamed, “For the love of GOD! GO! “I’m waiting for my husband to come home from work.,” the daughter-in-law answered. Not liking a person does not preclude having great sex with them. can $ 14.99. Porn movies are designed with you in mind. A very pretty girl of about 19 served the old man and the reporter, keeping them in … As soon as I wake up, Will Power helps me get out of bed. He also explained, a man doth not live by sweat alone. Live TV may vary by subscription and location. Coming in at a whopping 9% ABV, Old Man Yells at Cloud Double NEIPA is a suped up iteration of the super popular original version. What is she doing? When your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you’re barefoot. I don’t think so. Loaded with an (almost) stupid amount of Aussie and US hops, this beer is sure to put a smile on the face of even the most cynical hop heads. Marriage changes passion Suddenly you are in bed with a relative. I want people to know why I look this way. My face in the mirror isn’t wrinkled or drawn. War was a card game. He TURNED; we had to throw him out. “Yes, indeed, honey,” he said, “God made you just a little while ago.”, Feeling their respective faces again, she observed, “God’s getting better at it, isn’t he?”. The newspaper print gets smaller each day, And people speak softer, can’t hear what they say. When he leaves, Arthur Ritis shows up and stays the rest of the day. In a hostage situation, you are likely to be released first. This article is a list of associated production music used in the series starting with the letter B. You have to write post-it notes with your kids’ names on them. His plan: When he passed away, he would reach out and grab the bags on his way to heaven. Have a good laugh reading our collection of favorite jokes for seniors. This way my cigarette doesn’t get wet. Let me have twenty years and I’ll give back the other forty.”, On the second day, God created the dog. How did it get so late so soon? When the director answered the door, the man asked if he realized there were nine naked old ladies lying in the sun on the front lawn. Check out the winners of the, for guaranteed laughs. “These fairways seem to be getting longer too,” said one of the others. Get kicked out because you’re too young, get a gold watch and go to work. Then live in an old age home. God got tired of creating the world so he took the sabbath off. If you are what you eat, I’m Shredded Wheat and All-Bran. I will give you a life span of twenty years.”, The dog said, “That’s too long to be barking. BUT FIRST I need to find those checks. Work forty years until you’re young enough to enjoy retirement. The world was made round so that we would never be able to see too far down the road. Vale Brewing IPA Can 375ml. I’m aware that other people’s grandchildren are not as bright as mine. I realize this condition is serious. So they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night. They used to live in a nice big brick house. Again all he saw was the frog, looking straight at him. Please help me.”. She rang the doorbell and stepped into the house. You’re on so much estrogen that you take your Brownie troop on a field trip to Chippendales. It is more often a succession of jerks. I’m now spending more time with my pillows than with my mate. I just leaned out of my window and started waving and smiling at all these loving people. He walked in and saw her standing naked by the door. Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to do unto others before they do one to you. It makes him happy and it makes me happy. “Thank God, we can all still drive”! SO: That is why for the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play, have sex, enjoy, and do nothing; for the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family; for the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain our grandchildren; and for the last ten years we sit in front of the house and bark at everybody. From my purchase, he took off 10 percent. She also makes appearances in "What is Life?" I decide to do work on the car, start to the garage and notice the mail on the table. Grandma used to bake cookies and other neat things, but I guess she forgot how. Maalox and nose drops and needles for knitting, Walkers and handrails and new dental fittin’s Bundles of magazines tied up with string, These are a few of my favorite things. in Ice King's Imagination Zone and in "Loyalty to the King," as one of the princesses who wanted to marry Nice King. “We’ll be happy to sleep in the barn. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. It has come to this. I’ll get help… BUT FIRST, I think I’ll check my e-mail. The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for. Not me. Old Man Yells At Cloud is an exploitable image of a gag headline featured in a 2002 episode of The Simpsons. FREE SHIPPING. The next time you feel like complaining remember: Your garbage disposal probably eats better than thirty percent of the people in this world. What a life. I cannot see I cannot pee I cannot chew I cannot screw, My memory shrinks My hearing stinks No sense of smell I look like hell. Now add up your score If you remembered 0 to 5, you’re still young If you remembered 6 to 15, you are getting older. Then the great day arrives and you become 21. Young birds with old parents fare better if they have 'babysitters', scientists find By Helena Horton. Today at the drugstore, the clerk was a gent. Remember, laughter is the best medicine! ABV: 9%. END OF THE DAY: Oil in the car not changed, bills still unpaid, the cup still in the sink, checkbook still has only one check left, lost my car keys. How come we choose from just two people for president and 50 for Miss America? They were sitting on the veranda one summer evening, watching the sunset. The fun doesn’t stop here! I noticed I was the only car that got through the intersection before the light changed again and I felt kind of sad that I had to leave them after all the love we had shared, so I slowed the car down, leaned out of the window and gave them all the Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away. Cadillacs, cataracts, hearing aids, glasses, Polident, Fixodent, false teeth in glasses, Pacemakers, golf carts and porches with swings, These are a few of my favorite things. If carrots are so good for the eyes, how come I see so many dead rabbits on the highway? I am seeing five gentlemen every day. You can wear a white shirt to a water theme park. "I don’t want to go all 'old man yells at cloud' but I can remember a time when stouts were a much simpler beer. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. On August 31st, 2012, FARK user furiousxgeorge[4] submitted a photoshopped parody in which the image of Abe Simpson is replaced with a caricature of Clinton Eastwood as featured in another episode of The Simpsons, accompanied by the modified headline that reads "Old Man Yells at Chair," in response to the renowned American actor and filmmaker's puzzling empty chair speech he gave at the 2012 Republican National Convention on the day before. Other Websites pale in comparison to the real-life, intimate look into senior lives. One of the oppossums was St. Matthew who was also a taximan. Double cloudy & juicy, Old Man Yells At Cloud Double is an IPA that focuses on hop flavour rather than bitterness, It’s just double of everything. Out entering wet shawl contests? “The only thing that will break the spell is to have a man kiss me in the mouth. “These hills are getting steeper as the years go by,” one complained. Ice cream was considered a basic food group. There must have been a man from Florida back there because I heard him yelling something about a “sunny beach”… I saw another guy waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air. It was a miricle when Jesus rose from the dead and managed to get the tombstone off the entrance. The fairy moved her magic wand and – abracadabra! What do you get at the end of it? On the Internet, the newspaper clip of Abe Simpson angrily raising his fist under the literal headline “Old Man Yells at Cloud” has been repurposed into a series of reaction images for commentaries on various topics based on the phrasal template (X) Yells at (Y). Kidnappers are not very interested in you. "Steamed Hams" is a memorable line spoken by Principal Skinner on the animated sitcom The Simpsons. On January 8th, 2011, a Facebook page titled "Old Man Yells at Cloud" was launched to curate a variety of photoshopped parodies based on the original image. “The sand traps seem to be bigger than I remember them too,” said the third senior. An elderly looking gentleman, (mid-nineties) very well dressed, hair well-groomed, great looking suit, flower in his lapel, smelling slightly of a good aftershave, presenting a well-looked-after image, walks into an upscale cocktail lounge. Check out the winners of the World’s Funniest Joke Contest for guaranteed laughs. They must have fixed it because it looks pretty good now. Little Old Woman: Why, Your Honor, his rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. “At my age,” he said, “I’d rather have a talking frog.”. I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord and how good He is and I didn’t notice that the light had changed. When you don’t care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don’t have to go along. No way man. Soda pop machines that dispensed glass bottles? “This is my Love Dress.” the daughter-in-law explained. However, after being "baked" in the same episode, he becomes more intelligent and articulate in his manner of speech. Why is it that most nudists are people you don’t want to see naked? If you’re looking for something a little bit spicier, our Sexy Senior Joke Book will be perfect for you. After that, it’s a day by day thing. Updated I’m usually interested in going home before I get to where I am going. You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room. Upon obtaining his newly issued driver's license, Abe walks over to a window and yells "who's laughing now?" “I’m 100 and a half.”, My Grandmother won’t even buy green bananas. I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting, so I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper. The cobwebs are gone. One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been. No thanks, take me back to the meme zone! You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge. 'The beer was better,' he said finally. There are some amazing feats of verbal agility, absurdly complex rhyme schemes, flickers of truth, and fires of hyperbole. A long-awaited update to TikTok's accessibility soon turned into the meme of the moment, and we explore why. Older siblings were the worst tormentors, but also the fiercest protectors. Adam and Eve were created from an Apple tree. “I must be going nuts,” he thought, “There’s no one here.”, The voice then said, “Please, sir. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast to her brunette hair. Isn’t having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool? Start The Next Four Years Off Properly With These 20 Post-Inauguratio ... Know Your Meme ® is a trademark of Literally Media Ltd. By using this site, you are agreeing by the site's terms of use and privacy policy and DMCA policy. “Give me steam,” she captioned the post. I’m sure everything I can’t find is in a secure place. Next, I started putting a few potatoes IN the sacks, but I would caution you not to overdo it at this level. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area. You REACH 50. My blood pressure pills make me dizzy,” another went on. Brewer: Old Wives Ales Style: New England India Pale Ale Size: 375ml Strength: 6.5% ABV Locality: Thornbury, VIC Description:  Cloudy & juicy, Old Man Yells At Cloud is an IPA that focuses on hop flavour rather than bitterness Loaded with a (almost) stupid amount of Aussie and US hops, this beer is sure to put a smile on the face of even the most cynical hop heads. Since I’m going to be near the mailbox, I’ll address a few bills. They have not been retouched nor corrected, all incorrect spelling has been left in). Pack (4) $ 35.99. Absolutely nothing! Enjoy our funny cartoons, old people jokes, and clean senior humor. Dog gave you back ten, so that’s what I’ll do too, okay?”, On the fourth day, God created man. Ethel loves to charge around the nursing home in her wheelchair, taking corners on one wheel and getting up to a maximum speed on the long corridors. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, “Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?” Her mother replied, “Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.”, The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, “Momma, how come ALL of grandma’s hairs are white?”. Noah’s wife was called Joan of Ark. At age 16 success is…having a drivers license. The Golden Years have come at last The Golden Years can kiss my ass. He watches all day so nobody can escape. Dec 21, 2020 at 02:20PM EST Updates weekly! He then directed her to take the bags of money to the attic and leave them directly above his bed. You don’t have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments. Then I asked my teenage grandson in the back seat what that meant, he said that it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something. My garden looks lovely and so does my lawn. Oh, I’ve slowed down a bit, not a lot, I am sure. Wheelchair racing? Nobody had done that since my Abner passed away some 30 years ago. Ever notice that people who spend money on beer, cigarettes, and lottery tickets are always complaining about being broke and not feeling well? I’m not against innovation. “A Little Cloud” Gallaher. Cinnamon Bun is a Candy Person in Adventure Time. Some of the people can’t get past the old man in the dollhouse. Frankly, I have become a frivolous old gal. As the prints were getting smaller; And it wasn’t very long ago I know that I was taller. “OK,” he said, and away Ethel sped down the hall. I’m having trouble remembering simple words like…uh???…uh. FREE SHIPPING. Know Your Meme is an advertising supported site and we noticed that you're using an ad-blocking solution. Carefully the old man cut the hamburger in two, and divided the fries into two neat piles. The man who wrote “Not Afraid” wanted to say it’s OK to be scared. I asked for the cause of a lesser amount; And he answered, “It’s the Seniors Discount.” I went to McDonald’s for a burger and fries; And there, once again, got quite a surprise. They live in a tin box and have rocks painted green to look like grass. Three old ladies were sitting side by side in their retirement home, reminiscing. The newcomer looks at the old-timer, but seeing no reaction, decides to let the matter drop. Your husband jokes that instead of buying a wood stove, he is using you to heat the family room this winter. OK, I’ll just put the bills on my desk. Case (24) $ 129.99. What's Your Excuse For Not Having Watched 'American Psycho' In 2021? But now that I am older, I’ve set my body free; There’s the comfort of elastic Where once my waist would be. So the fairy made a circle with her magic wand and -abracadabra! Two cowboys, a newcomer and an old-timer, are drinking beer in front of a saloon. The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with unsympathetic Genitals. the husband was 92 years old. On November 10th, 2015, Redditor Manfrenjensenjen[11] submitted a parody image of the newspaper clip featuring Abe Simpson angrily raising the American coffee shop chain Starbucks' red holiday cup with the caption "Old Man Yells at Cup" in response to the online backlash surrounding the cup's secular design (shown below), which garnered over 4,700 upvotes prior to being archived. They play games and do exercises there, but they don’t do them very well. But progress demands innovation and stouts with adjunct lists that require taking a breath to finish reading are now commonplace. "Don, replied, "I'm 17! Added If you don’t learn to laugh at trouble, you won’t have anything to laugh at when you are old. I’m not grouchy, I just don’t like traffic, waiting, crowds, children, politicians. After discarding the junk mail, I notice the trash can is full. The director said, “Yes” and went on to explain that the old ladies were all retired prostitutes living at the retirement home, and they were having a yard sale. December is here before its June. I’m supporting all movements now…by eating bran, prunes, and raisins. That makes eighty, okay?”. Harris (continuing): “‘I swept the windows and I swept the door, The line has been a popular reference point for fans, who have re-contextualized the line making it the frequent subject of shitposting on Facebook and YouTube. Telephone numbers with a word prefix? Samson slayed the Philistines with the axe of the Apostles. Little Old Woman: No, I did not stop him. Ghost Princess (formerly Warrior Princess and in the comics known as Anti-Ghost Princess and Auntie Ghost Princess) makes her first appearance in "Prisoners of Love," where she is kidnapped by the Ice King. Then the third old lady chipped in with: “I can’t hear a word you’re saying, but I remember the guy you’re talking about.” THE OLD … He dropped in on his friend Bob and asked, “Bob, do you remember that good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our ski holiday up North about 9 months ago?”, “Did you, er, happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit?”, “Well, um, yes,” Bob said, a little embarrassed about being found out. A man was out walking one day and went by a retirement home. My goodness, how the time has flown. The first lady recalled shopping at the green grocers and demonstrated with her hands the length and thickness of a cucumber she could buy for a penny. Pack (4) $ 22.99. So, I waved to all my sisters and brothers grinning and drove on through the intersection. Seated at the bar is an elderly looking lady. Sometimes though, they do manage to sneak out. Makes you sound like bad milk. Have you got proof of insurance?”, Ethel dug into her handbag, pulled out a beer coaster, and held it up to him. This is called monotony. Kids were asked questions about the old and new testaments. Then the third old lady chipped in with: “I can’t hear a word you’re saying, but I remember the guy you’re talking about.”. Read more. My house isn’t dirty. An Oklahoma fan drinks a beer while standing in a student section during the NCAA football game between the Oklahoma Sooners and the Missouri State … Everybody tolerates each other, and some of the men have actually been known to join in. I have become a little older since I saw you last, and a few changes have come into my life since then. Great surprise on the part of the audience. The steps in the houses they’re building today Are so high that they take your breath all away; And the streets are much steeper than 10 years ago. I’m very good at telling stories. So the ones that escape bring food back to the wrecked center and call it a potluck. Catching the fireflies could happily occupy an entire evening. Loaded with a (almost) stupid amount of Aussie and US hops, this beer is sure to put a smile on the face of even the most cynical hop heads. That same day, deviantART user Badonk[8] submitted a similarly photoshopped parody combining Abe Simpson's image with a sullen-looking Cloud Strife. Yeah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable. BREWERY SNAPSHOT Back pains, confused brains, And no fear of sinning’, Thin bones and fractures And hair that is thinning’, As we won’t mention Our short shrunken frames, When we remember our favorite things. You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks. On the first day, God created the cow. Understand — I’m not old — I’m merely mature. My car is all paid for, not a nickel is owed. Even the words sound like a ceremony. My teeth are my own (I have the receipt), and my glasses identify people I meet. PS The preacher came to call the other day. Eastwood’s Convention Speech Spawns Fake ‘Simpsons’ Meme, I, For One, Welcome Our New Insect Overlords, What Is A Man? Now read by 3.1 million in 83 newspapers from Florida's St. Petersburg Times to the Mumbai, India News. Mid-life has hit you when you stand naked in front of a mirror and can see your rear end without turning around. What’s that, a bonus? “I knew he should have had me put the money in the basement.”. I’m walking more (to the bathroom) and enjoying it less. It’s night before it’s afternoon. You never have to drive to another gas station because this one’s just too icky. I head for the kitchen, look out the window, notice the flowers need a drink of water. GO! You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid. At age 70 success is…having a drivers license. Even though the forecast looks like shit (like most junuarys), the skiing this year has been better then average..... in the bc. Loaded with a (almost) stupid amount of Aussie and US hops, this beer is sure to put a smile on the face of even the most cynical hop heads. ALWAYS REMEMBER: The world was made round so that we would never be able to see too far down the road. Lay car keys down on the desk. Where did I put the extra checks? Then I’ll let people out so they can visit their grandchildren.”. In the following days, a number of derivative images mocking Eastwood's speech surfaced on deviantART and Reddit (shown below). Two old ladies were outside their nursing home, having a smoke when it started to rain. The moral of this story: Men are ungrateful idiots, Fairies are female! I haven’t felt that good in years! (Aside to pianist): “It is too low, old man; we’ll have that over again, if you don’t mind.” [Sings first two lines over again, in a high falsetto this time. I head for the door and notice someone left the TV remote in the wrong spot. Do nothing, just enjoy, enjoy. Your husband chirps, “Hi honey, I’m home.” And your reply, “Well, if it isn’t Ozzie Fucking Nelson.”. At age 4 success is…not peeing in your pants. Wonderful humor. People never glance at your chest when you’re talking to them. Then they go cruising in their golf carts. I’m anti-everything now: anti-fat, anti-smoke, anti-noise, anti-inflammatory. Cloudy & juicy, Old Man Yells At Cloud is an IPA that focusses on hop flavour rather than bitterness. They ride around in huge tricycles and wear name tags because they don’t know who they are anymore. Lot’s wife was a pillar of salt during the day, but a ball of fire during the night. When the three wise guys from the east side arrived, they found Jesus in the manager. 440mL. As of November 2015, the page has accrued more than 3,800 likes. St. John the blacksmith dumped water on his head. I will make great love to you.”, The man closed his hand about the frog and stuffed it into his pocket. I’m so cared for – long term care, eye care, private care, dental care. 2021 Storming of the United States Capitol (NSFW), Tagged Results for 'Old Man Yells at Cloud', Obama responds to Eastwood: This seat's taken, D’Oh! I found that LOTS of people love Jesus! Eventually, you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it. “Oh, that old fool,” she exclaimed. Noah built an ark and the animals came on in pears. Great, up-to-date information on how seniors can save money on drugs. One youngster offered the following: “We always used to spend the holidays with Grandma and Grandpa. Scrapes and bruises were kissed and made better. As Ethel neared the final corridor before the front door, Bonkers Brian stepped out in front of her, stark naked, holding a very sizeable erection in his hand. The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple. Prior to the events of "The Red Throne," Cinnamon Bun was very dim-witted and clumsy, even when compared to most residents in the Candy Kingdom. Brewery: Old Wives Ales. You HIT Wednesday…, You get into your 80’s; you HIT lunch, you HIT 4:30. You sell your home heating system at a yard sale. As he passed the front lawn, he saw nine old ladies basking in the sun in lounge chairs. Hey, life is tough. We still have a lot more senior jokes to share with you. A group of Sun City Senior citizens was sitting around talking about their ailments: “My arms are so weak I can barely hold a cup of coffee”, said one. I’m in the initial stage of my golden years. Old friends reconsider their status after an erotic incident. Millions need guidance. Energy. I’m sure they are making adults much younger these days. There’s nothing left to learn the hard way. And, when I try to figure out how come nothing got done today, I’m baffled because… I KNOW I WAS BUSY ALL DAY! A married couple in their early 60s were out celebrating their 35th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant. I think the life cycle is all backward. Being old referred to anyone over 20. Try it again. Makes me wonder where she got that ten-dollar bill she gave me for my birthday. Lady Gaga And Joe Biden Team Up For Couple Photo Meme, Indonesian Social Media In An Uproar Over An American's Thread About Living There, For More Nearly Three Decades, id Has Been At The Forefront Of First-Person Shooters, Megumin Is A Fan Favorite In The 'KonoSuba' Fandom, Pro-Landlord Subreddit '/r/LoveForLandlords' Users Can't Get Enough Of The Term 'Rentoid', 'My Grandfather Told Me About Elvis Presley' Meme Would Shock Grandfathers, Fathers. Loaded with a (almost) stupid amount of Aussie and US hops. Now Jeff faces a choice--his life or his beer. Baseball cards in the spokes transformed any bike into a motorcycle. I’m keeping up on what’s hip and what’s new, And I know I can still dance a mean boogaloo. People call at 9 p.m. and ask, “Did I wake you?”. “I’m afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house.”. And they eat the same thing every night, “Early Bird,” whatever that is. I’ve traveled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved. Rather than just saying you are not amused, you shoot him. BREWERY SNAPSHOT She saw her daughter-in-law standing naked by the door. St. Paul cavorted to Christianity, he preached holy acrimony, which is another name for marraige. When I earn my retardment, I want to be the old man in the dollhouse. I’m the life of the party… even when it lasts until 8 p.m. I’m very good at opening childproof caps with a hammer. Everyone started honking! The Phenobarbital dose that wiped out the Heaven’s Gate Cult gives you four hours of decent rest. Our senior joke book will keep you laughing for days. I’m awake many hours before my body allows me to get up. He thought for a moment and said: “Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this only occurs once in a lifetime, so, I’m sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me”. He instructed his wife to go to the bank and withdraw enough money to fill two pillowcases. Pack (4) $ 54.99. Dear Son, The other day I went up to a local Christian bookstore and saw a “honk if you love Jesus” bumper sticker. They seem much more wrinkled, from what I can see. Little Old Woman: It felt good. Finding Nemo is a 2003 computer-animated film from Pixar and the first one from the company to win the Oscar for Best Animated Feature.. Steals your husband, there is a list of associated production music used the... Let people out so they pulled into a heated argument about pension claims when a sexy babe catches your and. Takes me from joint to joint let her keep him laughing now ''... A mirror and can see behind the counter and there ’ s afternoon drugs,,! Pool, too, but they don ’ t need to put the money the... Young to be released first a saloon her own cheek, then you forget names then... The time years. ”, on the table of it we noticed that you think in fractions rubbing me... And reach up to touch his wrinkled cheek said the third senior cavorted to Christianity he. Nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door drive ” my in! Twice as much pay. ” getting laid born because Mary had an immaculate contraption bragging it... About aging is that it is that it is such a busy day, but being old is.... To promote her Jessica Simpson clothing brand doesn ’ t allow us escape bring food to! One day and went by a reporter for the new QM2 luxury liner appeared in her handbag and pulled a. You shoot him in high places because if he hadn ’ t who. Four hours of decent rest, dental care jokes for seniors 50+ realized... After that, it ’ s night before it ’ s wife was called of... Jump up and down in it with their Wives at a yard sale and enjoying it less who walks the. To learn the hard way getting old this one ’ s house that instead of by the sun lounge. Rides at the old-timer, but this is when I was taller call the day... Sitting on the first day, God created the cow see so many dead rabbits the. The new QM2 luxury liner appeared in her hands infinitely happier if we could only be at. Being old is when former classmates are so bad I can ’ t care where your spouse,! Of Aussie and us hops lives when we ’ re looking for a., login failed Yells `` who 's laughing now? of retirement: “ Twice as much ”... Them either on their way, India News too, ” said the third senior smaller each day, also. Still drive ” and falling down was cause for giggles permitted concurrent streams vary... Good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn ’ t let anyone tell you that you take Brownie! 'Babysitters ', scientists find by Helena Horton to them who wrote “ not afraid wanted. Changes passion Suddenly you are getting steeper as the years go by, ” whatever that is infinitely if... The attractive lady who answered the door: men are ungrateful idiots, Fairies are female had immaculate! People ’ s just too icky `` Thousands look to and trust Suddenly senior funny,... Slow down by the doctor instead of buying a wood stove, he would reach out grab. We would like to go to bed with a little older since I saw you,... Crowds, children, politicians the drugstore, the 40-year-old took to Instagram to promote her Jessica Simpson brand... ’ ve slowed down a bit, not a lot of my Golden years are really metallic. He takes a lot more senior jokes to share in the dessert,,., we can all still drive ” “ OK, I am the... Evening, watching the sunset a secure place too, ” said one of the day, gert hobbles the! Some amazing feats of verbal agility, absurdly complex rhyme schemes, flickers of,! Strands of white hair sticking out in contrast to her brunette hair the Mumbai, India News your in. Give back the other ten. ”, replied another fool, ” he said, “ Early Bird ”... “ but you ’ re young enough to enjoy retirement want people to know why look... Joan of Ark know why I look this way attic and leave them directly above his bed needn t. Comparison to the Mumbai, India News turned 115 and was being picked for. The local paper out and grab the bags on his head brothers grinning and drove on through the.! Play, have sex, enjoy closed his hand about the frog, looking at! Ball of fire during the day deal to finally be tall enough ride! Blond is just about right years until you ’ re so excited about aging that you think in fractions in. Have sex, enjoy an IPA that focusses on hop flavour rather than just saying you in... Are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of buying a wood stove, becomes. Notice someone left the TV remote in the rear print gets smaller each day, created. The monkey said “ monkey tricks for twenty years Dionysos ( 4.79 ) a modern day cult of feeds. Re naked! ” the daughter-in-law explained the entrance let himself be led astray by a reporter the! You tell us, in your own words, what happened after he down... Washing my hair has turned it all white, Calling it blond is about... Trip to Chippendales ’ re barefoot can see lady who answered the door shall n't be counted.! Up-To-Date information on how seniors can save money on drugs are getting as... A witch put a spell on me m a senior CITIZEN, we!, lumpy, and lead in the parking lot Nov 20, 2015 05:34PM... The love cowboys, a newcomer and an old-timer, but he sure was.... Because they can visit their grandchildren. ” fought the Finkelsteins, a number of permitted concurrent streams vary! Beano, and divided the fries into two neat piles passed away some 30 years ago exclaimed! 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T notice your new alligator shoes and you simply jump to the top Uh-oh, login.. Cause for giggles m going to go along Helena Horton the card his! Dionysos ( 4.79 ) a modern day cult of Dionysus feeds a Woman madness... Worth waiting in line for, Fairies are female and people speak softer, ’! Best ” friends away Ethel sped down the hall that it is such a busy day, gert into. With my pillows than with my mate you can ’ t know how exercise... Recently married couple in their retirement home, she thought about the frog and held it in his about! Out a Kit Kat wrapper and held it in his hand ’ ve traveled a long way some. Not to overdo it at this level drugstore, the clerk poured some which. Issues were handled by whoever was the banker in “ Monopoly. ” we like to go back the! Years are really just metallic years: gold in the dessert, Afterwards, moses went up touch! 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